“…we become so immersed in certain small details of life and allow these to take all of our attention, we lose sight of the larger picture. ”

Rev. Ann Davies

The Larger Picture

Because we become so immersed in certain small details of life and allow these to take all of our attention, we lose sight of the larger picture. We may become frustrated and feel we have been betrayed. We often feel that our lives are the most tragic, that no-one else suffers as much as we do. This is what I thought too until I realised that many people felt this way. This I had to re-evaluate. As an individuality experiencing our ‘I’ our attention becomes intensely focused on ourselves. Yet this kind of focus causes us to feel caught in something we cannot control. The reality is that each of us lives in and with and for God, evolving with the impact of experience. It is the infantile self-centered intensity, which brings us the sorrows that deepen us. We are all a spark of God but we do not embrace God until we have been through all the hells. Pain and sorrow bring compassion and even the experiences, which are most concentrated on the infantile finally help us to enlarge and expand our consciousness.

The Nature of Infancy

All of us have watched babies. They are narcissistic, that is, they are completely self-centered and they need to be in order to survive. We find this adorable in an infant. Narcissus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pond. He then fell into the pond and drowned in his reflection. We don’t realise that this is what we all do especially when we have problems. Before a baby is born it does not have to nourish itself. As an embryo it just floats around in a warm protected environment. Everything is done for it. Suddenly when it is born it has to work for itself in order to survive. And yet this is a strong drive to live. In order to develop consciousness, we must be born. Evolution works so that we begin life in the plush environment of the womb and go from the dependent self-centered baby, to having experiences which grow us out of the concentration on the self. Some people evolve and some people don’t. as infants we recapitulate the psychological evolution of humanity.

The Chain Reaction of Awakening

It takes just one experience to start off a chain reaction. Suddenly ‘It (our Higher Self) has us’. We do not have it, it has us, as we feel determined to get out of the prison we have built for ourselves. This is the difference between a spiritual aspirant and a metaphysical tramp. Union with God becomes a desire like a pulsing agony. We want it with all our hearts, mind and souls. It is no longer just a charming idea. When we get to that point we have entirely new morals and standards. This does not happen overnight. Everyone is thrown from the security of the womb in having to work for himself. We don’t get anything for nothing. We have to pay and we should be glad to pay. This brings pride of soul in what we get.

Awakening to Responsibility

It takes a while to wake up to the God part of us. A ten-day-old baby cannot have the responsibilities of an adult. Yet some adults are still narcissistic. They feel that they should have all the attention, praise and adoration. We put ourselves on a pedestal sometimes and we say “how dare so and so speak to me like that?” We are insulted. Would you get upset if a three-year-old child stuck out its tongue at you? Some children like to whoop it up. My childhood friends and I were terrible brats. We would really whoop it up to cause a reaction. We would hoot and holler under the window of one of the neighbours. We would get her so angry that she would throw a jug of water over us. We were jubilant because we had ‘scored.’ Of course, we were not thinking of her unhappiness. We enjoyed the power we had over her and we were wise enough not to play this game in winter. If she had ignored us we would never have continued because it would not have been any fun. A narcissist will create a riot for attention. This is evil because it is immature behaviour in someone who should have grown up. Even these people can be adorable. They think they have enough power to put us into an emotional stew. If we stoop to this level we are stooping to a child’s level. Are we going to get upset about a bunch of children out to get attention in a destructive way?

Understanding Immaturity and Evil

Immaturity is evil and evil is ignorance. It is selfishness. We expect selfishness of an infant. Through training and love the infant learns to give. It enlarges its idea of self to include the welfare of others. The greater the maturity, the greater the satisfaction we will have in experiences. If something happens to threaten the narcissistic person he will put up defences. We will often make an issue of things with orders in order to feel a sense of power. We do things to make another person’s temper snap and we call it by other beautiful names. Most of us get lost in ideas of good and evil. We like to think of ourselves as vast souls and as being special. We make ourselves feel spiritual by saying such things as: “I have a such and such problem but I am grateful that I don’t have such and such problem as well”. We are in love with ourselves. We have to chuckle at ourselves. We can say, ‘there it is again, that part of me which is still infantile.” Only those unable to be at one with others will perform the evils. A child five years’ old or one hundred years old will be destructive because it cannot ‘feel into’ another.

The Search for Love

We are always looking and hunting for that in another which does not love us. As our consciousness becomes centered on such thoughts we become more and more filled with anger and unhappiness. Haven’t we overlooked the fact that we have to love and be lovable in order to be loved? We say we would be more loveable if we had different physical features or if we had different temperaments instead of doing the one thing the Divine Compulsion would have us do.

Taking Control of Our Feelings

We can stop worrying whether others appreciate us or not and realise that there is one area we can control and this is how we think and feel. We can train ourselves to feel from the inside out, from our Inner Self instead of drowning in our own reflection. Remember, “what I feel is what I create. I deserve to be loved to the degree that I love.’ We become a true aspirant when everything we think and feel is for the good of all life. The greatest evil is the delusion of separateness. We see this in some adults who are narcissistic. When we are concerned on what others do or don’t do we are not willing to grow up. When the behaviour of others impinges upon us we can say, “I will look upon every circumstance of my life as a particular dealing of God with my soul.”

“If we want love we have to understand what it is to be loveable. ”

Rev. Ann Davies

Understanding Love and Pain

If we want love we have to understand what it is to be loveable. If we want to beat with rapture we have to be willing to take the pain and learn. The Magic of Light has to do with being aware of our thinking and feeling when others are acting up. When you have problems with others stop picking on outside causes. We can have more maturity when we think about how we are going to react. We have to take the tests and trials in life and stop blaming any outside conditions. Do you get upset or worried? You can say, “No, I am not going to let this upset me. I will hold to the Divine Level.” It will work out even though maybe not as you may think. No-one else can make you upset but you can give the power of negative thinking a change to take hold. If you trust God you are going to take control of how you think and feel. You will make up your mind to stop spiralling downward. The power of the Magic of Light is the power to develop such a strong soul that you remain calm even in the midst of a storm. You will not let yourself become upset by the misconduct of others. You will not let yourself feed the negativity. You will say, “I will hold to God to help me transmute this negativity.” Evil is immaturity. We need to recognise this and not get caught up in it. We can walk in the glory. Remember that evil influences from the infantile will injure and destroy, but the Magic of Light comes from those who refuse to enter this level. You would be amazed to see how much evil could be erased from the face of the earth by acting like mature adults instead of infants.

Read more here by the Rev. Ann Davies: A Brief History of B.O.T.A.

Further Reference

Published works by the Rev. Ann Davies: Thoughts on the Tarot